just burst out from a cocoon

2011-05-05T03:57:00.000-07:00

my story is getting better and better, well hope for it. but yeah just doing great!

when is it going to end, gosh please as soon as possible. penat dohhh. penat sangat2.
macam kau work for someting but takde hasil. sumpah kimak lar.

malas pulak nak english2 nie. hari nie hari aku cakap melayu lar.

weiii..sampai biler doh aku nak jadi macam nie. makin lame makin teruk adela. aku bace self help book, motivasi ape lancau supe jer.

macam mane lar orang lain boleh confident ngn diri masing2. aku punyer confident makin teruk sejak..ntah la malas nak cakap. aku menyampah giler ngn aku sendri. terase sangat bodoh.

penat la fake happy everyday. penat sial fake as if nothing happen. otak ngn badan aku makin kering arr pikir menda2 nie.

tak tawu arr shud i or shud i not do things yang aku rase aku pk nak buat. ade gak pk, menda tu ade benefit aku tak. ade lar jugak, tapi lame dohhh. aku tak rase aku bole stand. bodoh sial jadi pompuan nie. lemah nak mampus. emotional tak abes2.
kdg2 ble pk pompuan jadi laki nie aku paham la nape. n aku paham la asal dorang suke pompuan. (no saying as if im lesbo, big NO NO)

biler arr aku nak jadi hati keringgg. macam cibai sial!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111

2011-04-15T11:45:00.000-07:00

Hi.
2 am. Saturday. 16/4

Empty....hurt.....

It's been 5 months, and I still can't run. I can't walk. I can't crawl.

It's hard, like a rock. Only the ocean can erode the stony rock.

But there's no ocean. No sea. No nothing...

Empty....silence...

The tears has dried out. Pain is unbearable. And I can't see anything.

Where am I going? What am I thinking? When can I stop? Who can help me? How am I going to get through this?

Questions..Questions...Questions....

5 months.

What's going to happen next? Question..

Hate. Despise. Cruel.

but..

Thoughtful.

Im confuse.

What's not good enough? Think Amirah. Think.

My look?
My brain?
My confidence?
My clothing?
My speak?
My smell?
My hair?
My poverty?
My body?
My skin?

This is what god's has made me. I was born with funny nose and round face. I can't change my look.
I aint genius, but I still maintain my grades.
I'm not confidence, my low self esteem is not a subject to talk about.
Im not wearing sexy cloth. I don't wear skirt anymore.
I speak when I have to. I talk when is need.
I smell me. That's me.
Im nor rich, nor poor. I still eat and live.
Im not retard or anorexic. Just having difficulties to eat
I have fair skin. I try to tan my skin, but it doesnt work. Pure Malay skin works for you? If yes, I try harder. Im not fair enough? I put on more whitening cream..still I try harder.

What do they have that I don't? I want to know.

Im at dead end of thinking about it. 5 months of thinking. I still can't find the answers.

Please. Tell me.

Even so I can't chase missed bullet train, I'll board on it one day.

Wait before it depart. Clock before it arrives. Stand when it opens for me. Enter before it closes. Sit before it's full.

If you know me, U'll understand...

Sweet dreams...

weird changes in me..again!

2011-03-29T23:23:00.000-07:00

Have you people watch Sucker Punch?? It's preety awesome, but the most awesome is about the soundtrack. The hardcore musics really keeps me on going plus the stupid tectonic or watever the shit called, the combination was...... Hell Yaeah..make u hOrnnnyyyy!! Playing all over again like a broken record.
But man..all the songs were never be my kind of songs lar.. but bile listen to it of what i so called "deafening music".... MOther ChicKen Curry! super awesome!
so lagu2 hardrock sakit telinga headbanging nie kire on my ipod list larr! wachaaaahhhhh!!!

another thing... I'm into big motors! like freaking big bike!!!! even tak tawu nak bawak, but who givva a fuck.. I'll bike one later..soon...in far future ngehehehehehehehk!
ouwhh since I have extra piercing, I think it's time for me to get another one again =)

Creepy Marilyn Manson, sang the cover of Sweet Dreams, his version is much better than Eurythmics..But the latest by Emily Browninng.. 2 thumbs up =P

yeahh ride hard babyyy!!!!!

not yet, but soon

2011-03-20T05:43:00.000-07:00

I can love a man with all my heart. I can see all the beautiful things in him once I love a man. No matter how he end up to turn into.. an ugly beast the worst.. he still be the love of my life.
I, might be such a pain in guy's ass. I cry too much, tend to be so emotional, so needy, and very perfectionist. Guys hate that.
If I have a man, and he hurts me a lot, I'll be sad.. a bit mad. I just need a man that can love me, and take care of me. Understand me and accept me at my worst.
I have learnt a lot from my previous relationship, that love is not a "thing" to throw away. We need it all the time. It feels good when you have someone to turn to. You have someone to cry on, and you have someone to share your happiness.
I'm happy if my man happy. Even if I'm not, he will never see it. One thing that can draw a smile on my face is when I finally make my man happy and make him have a thought that no one can ever replace me even the prettiest hot sexy woman on earth.
A man can have so many girls that they want, they can flirt with anyone even with a pondan.. but, they will eventually find that his girl is the best even they don't want to admit it.
I saw it infront of me, a friend of mine, just broke up with her girlfriend, he has a lot of girl friends, he has a wild eyes never stop looking for hot chicks.. after the break up, his eyes turns blind, he says.. " I still find my ex is the prettiest and the best.." I was surprised, a guy like him.. a so called womanizer have a soft heart deep inside.
~~It makes me think, is he like him too.. after the break up?~~
I'm a very sensitive girl, only him know how so sensitive I am. My friends once label me as "hati batu".. and what a power of god and love can do to this "hati batu" girl.. I barely recognized myself back then before..
Wish to be like before? No, if I never get hurt, I will never know how does it feels, and I know how important it is to be with someone you love.

I regret so much for the stupid mistakes I have made, I wish I could turn back time and stop the doing it =(

2011-02-01T06:03:00.000-08:00

definition of SUNDAL.

Kalau orang cakap aku SUNDAL mmg dorang sangat BODOH. Nampak sangat tak paham ape tu SUNDAL. Nak tawu sangat SUNDAL tu ape menda, korang bukak la FB korang masing2 and tengok sumer SUNDAL-SUNDAL free free MENYUNDALKAN diri.

Seperti:

1- tetek kalau boleh nak tekeluar sampai nampak puting! tujuk je la puting senang2 or malu korang nyer puting hitam choklat bedaki

2- kalau tangkap gambar, sumpah macam tak pakai baju. spaghetti strap tu aku paham lagi arr, nie tak pakai langsung. bajet tangkap atas je tetek cover ngn rambut.

3- dah ade boyfren boleh lagi meggedik dengan jantan lain. Setakat comment bro2 xpe doh. nie nak menggatal dating chat.

4- tunjuk and bangga that u such a social girl and easy to get.

Seriously babes, you girls are making yourself such a whore. I mean like a stupid idiot whore. At least put a price lar on your page so people can know how much you gals cost, nie tak, free terus. Sumpah lagi HINA dari PELACUR dowh!
Korang buat macam ape taw, "My legs are open for all guys, come and fuck me hard..ouuhh yeahh my pussy wants your dick..COME and get me.."... and kebanyakan nyer la perempuan2 yang almost naked kat FB akan di ADD oleh lelaki yang either memang gian nak pantat korang, or jantan yang baru lepas break-up as a rebound untuk mendapat kan pantat korang yang sumpah petik jari boleh dapat. Lelaki2 tu sume sebenarnya nak tengok korang bogel jerr..
And honestly lelaki tu semua sangat PATHETIC. Hahahahaa..
We all live in this funny sinful world..

~Cheers to boobs and nipples~

2011-01-08T03:15:00.000-08:00

1) Cry..what will be your definition on that word?
- Hurt, grieve and stupid

2) Do you enjoy crying?
- Not a fancy thing to do neither my hobby. I despise it.

3) Do you cry a lot?
- Was not a cry-er even hardly drop a tears , but this activities is part of my routine recently.

4) Why you cry?
- Stupid question! You cry because you hurt and sad dumbass!

5) Have you cried with joy?
- Yea when I got straight A's, and I just cried of joy last few days, It was the most memorable thing I could ever imagine.

6) Is it benefit you..crying?
- I don't know. Maybe. But most of the time no.

7) What you do if you cried?
- Just cried, or lye down, throw my spects to the wall, sometimes my phone, scribble my bed sheet and tuck it back. Then do some reading.

8) How long does it take for you to cry for the same reason?
- depends on why I cry. Like I remember when I only got 6A for my SPM, I cant accept the results, I cried for days and I abandoned myself. But now I have been crying for idk, god knows.

9) Do you cry when you praying?
- only god knows

10) Do you cry for the love one?
- if only he knew how much tears I dropped

11) Do you tell someone if you just cried?
- No, but they will know.

12) Do you cry for your mistakes?
- Yes. Yes. and Yes.

13) What if someone cry because of you?
- I feel bad, useless, and I hope I can help..

14) When is the last time you cried and why?
- Just few minutes ago because of the bad negative thoughts lingered in my brain and seeing things that I know I should avoid it.

15) What you think when you cry?
- Dying

16) Can you live a day without crying?
- Yes, I think so..

17) If you cry, who you wish to be beside you?
- E

18) You cry in public?
- Public toilet ngeheheh =) I go toilet for pee pee and cry... best place ever!

19) If you can change your tears, what would it be?
- droplets of diamonds!

20) What you wish when you cry?
- to stop

my own dream house =)

2011-01-02T04:10:00.000-08:00

today I would like to talk about my dream house in future. hehehe. just an inspiration before start doing my stupid ITR.
I dream of big house, but as long as I get the medium slightly big is fine. Maybe a semi-D. But the interior need to be as awesome as me lar. hieee =D

I start with the yard. Not that big as long as I can do some gardening. The grass must be the japanese grass, much more softer than ehem Malaysian grass. I want a cute fountain at the side of the fountain. One table for afternoon tea. There will be like stones on the grass. I love if there's like wild flower crawling on the grass.

ok sumthing like this, colurful flowers and grass crawling, but not the tree. this is the best picture I can get. And there will be a small outdoor table with 3 chairs on the side..

Now the door..heheh.

Alright U see the door is not that big. A fit size and simple design. Im not living in palace so just simple will do. I just want to add cute flowers at both side of the door.

So, once you open the door, as I open the door, I want my interior to look like this.

As U see, there's a square carpet. As I open the door I want the stairs to be the first thing lar. In other words the stairs should be in the middle. But not the carpet. Freaking old and ugly kowt. Dekat sebelah kanan and kiri of the tangga would be the living hall, dining hall and at the back of the stairs would be the kitchen which must connected dengan the dining hall. I want my kitchen to be big! You know what I mean =D

Lets go to the hall!

Ok just a rough picture of what I like., There must be a big window pane for natural light. Book shelves for my books. Simple sofa for comfy. The TV would be infront of the sofa lar.

My dining hall....

The dining hall and everything very2 simple. I love if there's a pillars and it's connected to the kitchen =)

I like the picture of having working table in the midle. Good lightings and spacious. Arrrrrrrhhhhh!!!! Love it!

Final place would be the backyard. hehe. the rooms I can't think of any right now. Coz I want at least 4 rooms. One room for like entertainment room. not big. Like placing all your musical instrument. Im not a music person but for someone =) He loves guitar. Eh eh macam citer Juno pulak hiee =P
Ok2 now the backyard!!!!

yeahhh! hahha. the reason why I like to have backyard is because for barbeque-ing! hehehe. and if more space I can plant my own "Malaysian" herbs or chillies pun ok larr...

I hope I cant have my own simple comfy house. Just the way I love it.. Until then, good day!

2010-12-31T01:12:00.000-08:00

Another 7 hours to New year =D Happy New Year everyone.

So, every new year we have new resolution lar kan. My new year resolution memang sangat lame. Since degree nih makin susah aku nak study giler2. Takut pulak dgr kwn2 aku fail term 6! Tanak aku.

Insyaalah tak nak study last minute. Kalau boleh global average aku kene 17 and above balik. Sekarang nie, dah kurang masalah dalam kepale aku. Menda2 yang tak berkaitan dengan hidup aku, aku tolak tepi. Seriously aku nak buat hal aku jer.

Lagi satu, kurang kan temper gila aku nie, cuba banyak2 besabar, tanak mencarut banyak2 lagi. hehehe. Kurang kan perangai mengelaba aku, pape problem kene relax and pikir positive all the time! Kalau oorang bagi negative energy kat aku, aku kene balas dengan positive, sebab orang yang buat kite marah takan kesah kalau kite marah pun, so better jangan membazirkan energy sendiri untuk marah.

Have to think maturely, since dah 20 nie everything need to be wise. There's no more childish act macam dulu2 lagi. Orang akan respect kita if we act maturely and giving a wise idea =)

Kurangkan biadap terhadap parents aku. Pape put my family first. Then, my friends, my beloved friends that , always be by my side (Ayuni, Raha, Fara, Zatie, Fairuz,Yasmin and Fatin). Even u guys far from me, I still remember all the good things u done to me. To my frens yang kat Rusia and London bile u guys balik we need to hang out.

Lastly, one of my bad attitude that I should change for myself and everyone is be honest, be confident and I have to start like-ing myself, no more self conscious and low self esteem. I have to think that everyone is different in this world, I can't be like them though they are all admirable by everyone. I should start be admired by the person I want it to be. Not for everyone, but for someone special. I want to be the perfect or at least almost perfect for that "someone special" because if I'm trying to impressed other people that does not affecting my life it will be a waste of time.

Not to forget, accepting everyone as who they are. I believe that if other people can accept me as who I am then I should do the same. As I mention, nobody's perfect. No matter how bad the people is from the naked eyes, we can't judge them totally. Yes, I might hate people that having bad attitude, but hey, I do having some nasty attitude. Why should I hate them.

So, I wish I could change to a better person. Fuck those people don't have faith on me, as long as I know what I'm doing and I can fall in love with myself again. No more crying baby, no more shits, no more grieve, no more bastards.

-HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!-

2010-12-27T11:03:00.000-08:00

once upon a time I was falling in love...but now I'm only falling apart

once upon a time there was light in my life...but now there's only love in the dark

2010-12-24T08:18:00.000-08:00

seriously idk what else should I post in here. so fucking crazy over how i met your mother I watch it again from season 1.

I can't sleep this few days, to be exact few weeks. I dun think so I sleep. My eyes were so heavy, but my soul are not in peace to sleep. kinda hate the situation cause I am so tired and tired.

hurmmm, I guess I've been telling people how I hate my life. Like everything about my life. What is fucking wrong with me seriosly! If so 2012 would be the end of the world, I would say Thank God! There's nothing left here for me. Living on this Earth is much more painful, is like a bridge to Hell. Im so sick of evrything.

I hate to give up, but I almost at the stage of giving up on my life. If were born to be stupid and idiot, I wont give a damn about my future. Go fuck the future and screw yourself up.

you can have so many cure to life but to me it doesnt really work. It is just a shield to cover up the flaws. Forgodsake! look at this life, you can wrote any kind of letters, love letters, joy letters or even sad letters but when you go round you going to go back to the same pattern of routine. "yesterday is always the different day" huh. Not at all....

I noe Im not going to live much longer. I just have the feelings that Im going to die soon. Not looking forward of death anyway. Hurmm am I going to end up in hell or heaven??? God knows...

But what I know, someone will be happy if I die much sooner. That's what the "someone" wish for like everyday.. Don't worry, one day I'll die.

Before that, now Im officially 20. hope it's a good year for me. You know what, cherish yourlife with evry breath you take. Life doesnt give you a second chance =)

2010-12-17T23:48:00.000-08:00

I think I've already lost you
I think you're already gone
I think I'm finally scared now
You think I'm weak - but I think you're wrong
I think you're already leaving
Feels like your hand is on the door
I thought this place was an empire
But now I'm relaxed - I can't be sure

I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - I think too much
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing

If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you

I bet you're hard to get over
I bet the room just won't shine
I bet my hands I can stay here
I bet you need - more than you mind

2010-12-17T06:01:00.000-08:00

ARRRGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

IM NOT MAD NOR SAD! I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT IS IT! I HATE THIS SHIT!

2010-12-16T22:04:00.000-08:00

Looking back at my old picture memang dah banyak giler berubah. I was chubby dulu. At least berisi lar sikit kan. Skang nie, kepeng dan cengkung.

Bapak aku cakap I look like a drug addict. Arip my brother cakap "dulu amirah gemuk, sedap jer ramas2 (kt tgn k) skang nie macam zombie"... all my brothers said the same thing. Which they don't like me getting skinny. Last Tuesday pegi jogging dengan mama, I put on tights lar sebab senang nak jog, mama said that my legs macam bini Poppeye..WTH! Bini Poppeye tu memang dah hard core lidi kot.

Ade sebab nape aku lose weight mendadak sgt, dah try makan but still macam nie jugak. If one day aku makan bnyk, next day aku takan makan for 2 days macam tu makanan aku just hot tea and sumthing else, so alternately lar makan, tak makan, makan... bukan aku sengaja, tapi memang aku tak boleh nak sumbat makanan. Lagi teruk, kalau one day tu too much of food intake, ape yang aku makan dimuntah kan semula. Not purposely vomit my food, it vomit by itself. I tried to restraint myself from puking but dah kat dalam mulut muntah je lar. Kadang2 rase fed up nak makan. I don't have any eating disorder, idk la what is the problem actually..

I calculate my BMI, and I'm at the category of *underweight*.. =( People think I'm sick worst they think I'm having some sort of Buliemia but for sure Im not an Aneroxic. I'm fine just having a hard time to eat..

~~NO! BIG NO!~~

~~WTF!!~~

~~GEEZZ! NON!~~

~~Too much of a metaphore.. gosh =.=~~

2010-12-15T04:51:00.000-08:00

i wish he knew..

2010-12-14T07:51:00.000-08:00

My lord, my blogs is getting too personal. Too much drama and emotional I guess. I'm having insomnia lately. It's a very common disease to a teenager nowadays.

Hey congrats to me! I mange to prevent myself from buying stupid things. I wanted to dye my hair again. Y'know just for a change. This time I decided not to do it at the saloon, too expensive. So kinda looking around the DIY hair colored. Looking for the suitable colors and stuff. Unfortunately I dint buy the hair colouring. Thinking why should I change my hair. What new reacarnation?? Hell no.

What makes me change my mind not to buy the hair color? apart from saving my money for the Revelon. Ok ok, I watched Grays Anatomy 2 days ago before decided to buy the hair coloring. its about this girl got dumped or got left out by her crushed something like that. Fuck it anyway, she was a brunette, then she changed her hair into blonde. Everyone was like "okay u just want to get through this whole break up thing thats why you change you hair..bla bla bla and stuff"..
She was kinda mad, she said she change it because she wants it, for hersef not because of the damn breakup shit. Since everyone kinda gossiping about it at the hospital, she got fed up and tell "alright i colured it back!"..
Then this one guy said to her , ..if you change your hair, doesnt mean you changed. If you really want to make a chnange then, change everything, not only you but your innerself. Stop blaming yourself for the things that happened and start forgiving yourself first so you can be a new you..

Fuck you man! thats deep. but he's right.

OMG! Im so tired of changing!!!!!

2010-12-13T04:01:00.000-08:00

wow for the first time I cried watching How I Met Your Mother. It was the season 5 episode "Of Course"... And shows how much barney do care bout someone he used to love..

Cheers to true love my friends =)

Listen to this heartwarming incredible vioice by Dido.. White Flag (Acoustic)

no no surrender for me..

2010-12-12T08:53:00.000-08:00

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
Or tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that makes sense

And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was there
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on....

2010-12-11T23:50:00.000-08:00

Watching How I met Your Mother S5, Blogging and Facebooking.. hahhaha. What a ~~Brain fart~~!

I almost at the end of season 5. I want season 6 NOW!!!!!

I watched this episode "The Window".. yeah again Barney the Great stands out among the jokers. He wants to get into this Maggie girl next door pants which Ted kinda into her for about 12 years. You know Barney, boobs and boobs only in his shallow mind. But he's still the awesome!

Bla bla bla... Ted din't get Maggie, Barney was desperately wants to get laid with Maggie wasnt achieved..(which he finally get laid with an old granny..isn't that gross..Barney I love you but don't be such a desperado you know..That granny loves his overalls)

He challenged himself to get laid with chicks by wearing overalls. (look what's his wearing!)....Spoiler alert!!!

Robin: That’s cheating. You can’t wear the overalls over a suit.
Barney: Why? They’re not called over T-shirts. They’re not called over shirtless fat guys who used to fix my mom’s car and then hang out with her upstairs for a little while. They’re called overalls.

But that's not what I want to talk about, it's about giving yourself a break, and really look into yourself deeply wether are U ready or not. You will realise yourself when the time that to find your real love of life =) U guys understand what I'm saying if you watch it.

The red haired is Maggie..

Ouhh yeah now Im watching "last cigarette ever"... Gotta go!

Have a Good Day people! I love you guys.. =)

Ouh btw, Check this out! Marshall =)

2010-12-10T03:14:00.000-08:00

A day without you is like A year witout rain...

2010-12-10T02:44:00.001-08:00

The reason why the sky are blue....

2010-12-08T03:11:00.000-08:00

Hello there, it's a very pale afternoon. Gloomy after the rain. My day wasn't exclusive as usual. Try to wake up early but my lazy eyes force me to sleep, the smelly pillow hugged me and the bouncy loosen spring bed cuddled me..how can I be a morning person doh!

Long cold and prepared myself with cup of coffee. What would be a morning without a cup of coffe, it's like what would it be a special red meat course without a great red wine introduced by a great somelier =)

Still struggling, and keep on standing. With my blue worn out sweater and black shorts. Reading a book and still reading it to keep my head off from something. Watching a tv drama and laughed for no reason. Helps a lot.

Disember seems too long, I feel like the winter never stops and the snow keep raining. Would be a great time for the little ones to make a snowman..(As if Malaysia got snow =.=)

I think I sounds like an old lonely granny...

Few weeks coming I'll turn 20. It's not going to be a great birthday =(
If I got a cake, and when the time I need to blow the candle, I would close my eyes, make a wish. A wish that I only ask for the last time, the only wish that I hope and will never ask from anything at all....

2010-12-06T19:24:00.000-08:00

As some people may know that I'm 'hibernating' myself from online-ing FB. Im not ready to go social after what had happen to me. It's hard for me to deal with it.

Yeah, you might think I'm such a weak woman and whatsoever. I don't care. After all, it's a mean thing to do if you feel happy after you lose someone that you love.

Im not a pretender, I tell my friends how hurt I am. I cried infront of them. They witnessed my grieve. They know how I feel towards him, they do support me to be strong, move on at the same time wait for him even I know myself he won't coming back.

It is way more hurt when you realise someone that you love is no longer with you. How can I deal with it? He said next year will be sucks, is it because of me? because we going to be in the same class.
How can I pretend that seeing him makes me happy? How can I pretend not to talk to him and don't ever look at him when he is passing me? And how can I pretend to look okay when I see him not okay...

I never hate myself as much as I'm fucking hate myself! Im such a disgust. If only I knew how to be the best.. I never be the best for anyone. He's too perfect and I have too much flaws. I hate to say this but I know you will find someone that is better than me. Till then, I stop waiting for you..

If you think its a lie, you are wrong, you are the most precious thing in my life, you have took pieces of me, and I love you more than anyone else in this world...

2010-12-05T22:24:00.000-08:00

Watching "the social networks" was okay.. Facebook was practically created by an angry man. A genius. But for sure the man that I salute the most because damn! how u take on ur revenge is way to cool for an ordinary man that got dumped! I wish Im you!!!!

seriously it was cool and mean. tell me about it when u are mad and angry u can do the most sinnest thing on earth.

So story for today, dear bloggers, it's about ... ~~Winning the Motherfucker Breakup~~

To whom that just got dumped or losing someone that you "practically" loved, don't waste your time by trying so hard to be an asshole. We are an asshole the fact is, but too much af assholes in this land.... could be a disaster.
I understand the feelings, but it's funny when both sides trying to win and see who's the "man". C'mon, it's not like we're in the kindergarden right? make it clean. isnt that better?
And and, the most most MosT funny thing about break up is you trying to do stupid things on yourself. And and and!!!! the hillarious thing are You tell evryone that u have a good life and u are ~~happy~~???? That is just plain stupid and kinda fake. really fake. some people do laughed about it. of course one of it is Me =D

Stop making fool of yourself, really. People, if you get hurt, it is best you do nothing, don't act ridicolously, especially if your friends are a jackasses too, seriously you guys making yourself like a frreaking ugly unemployed Clowns.
Trust me on this, lots of people were laughing at you.....Be mature and think wise.

I believe that once u missed the big fish, U can get a huge monster fish next time. ~~Too much of fish~~, too much of big fish to be exact. Nahh big fish bores me... haha

2010-12-05T21:58:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time and long ago, in fact so long ago that I could'nt have been there, and if I had been there, I could not be here, but I am here, and I wasn't there, but I tell you anyway:

Once a upon a time, and long ago there is 3 funny best buddy. The dwarf, a rhino and an ugly black tooth blotted tummy bunny...

ahhh I forgot the story...SHIT!~

it's called commiting suicide

2010-10-04T01:40:00.000-07:00

if one thing that i would ever2 change, i'll prevent myself from falling in love. it's great when u have someone to turn to and when u sad he'll be there. but life is harsh. is just temporary sake.
sometimes if you are lucky u get the best one. i fall into "be at the wrong place, at the wrong time and meet the wrong guy..."
i miss my life back then. heartless and know idea what's love is.

loving him is more than pain i could gain.. hurt is all what we get. is that all about relationship. im tired of it. i hardly know him, it's faded...

raya sucks!

2010-09-12T06:36:00.000-07:00

i fucking hate raya. it's like people don't believe in santa clause. yea i'm one of the species. i have a new freaking plan for my freaking future. i will work on my raya cuti, and bring the cuti to next month or whatever, have a great holiday alone. ngegehehe. time raya keje triple rate sial!

i hate raya! have i said that? yeah again IM FUCKING HATE RAYA!!!!

and i wish i dun have any heart. transplan heart would be great. i want to be mean to evryone. everyone in this whole fucking world.

or i wish im a zombie. nahhh not cool. i wish i can stand alone. i wish nobody exist in my world.

i want to be alone. nobody's bugging me. no pain sial! no pain! "nobody, no pain" agegegege.

FUCK- raya, man, woman, college,
fuck the whole world

2010-08-26T08:32:00.000-07:00

What a tiring week. Exams and assigments on the same day?? the lectures think we are robot!! I've been sleeping like fish.. errr I guess.. fish do sleep right? ok I just sound like a bimbo. and finally I got my rest for 3 days and thank god no replacement! Please don't be.

I guess I'm going to screw up my French test! Fucking hard man!!! Theory part was ok. But goddamn! the listening!!!! I dun understand a single shit of what they were talking about. alrite what I heard was,
"Lea....Espagnole.....chocolat....au revoir!!! Yea that's basically I heard. the rest...SPENDERRR!!! satu haram tak paham. And the "grammier" what??? passe compose was ok. Gosh why do human created such a complicated words. And they have a gender. Funny right. The day before was my Marketing and Purchasing paper. It was ok. Thank god I manage to do it. Man, I should pay more attention in marketing class. I mean the "S" are so annoying and I barely listen to you Mr P.

It's fasting month. And I have Coctail class! WTF right!? I don't even taste all the liquors and stuff. I just get to smell it and it smells like maker pen..like most of it. It's like 15 types of coctails we got to try. it's awesome. Now I shall call myself as a Bar tender ngehehe even though my Brandy Alexander was hell!
So since the class was like 6 hours long, I get a lil "drunk" even I don't drink at all..
kinda lost my attention towards the lecturer. They were talking bout Gin.
Then the lecturer said "what's inside Gin class?"...... I said "Setan".. I dunnoe that I sounds loud and my fren laugh.. luckiliy he dint hear that. Next question he asked.."where is Gin?"....my friend pun da gile "dalam NERAKA!!!!" ....then only the two of us ketawe mcm sial sbb dah gile... Anyway I hate alcohol and I hate drinking.

another 4 weeks to go and I'll having my short holiday. Then go for training. haishhh...

same old, same old....

2010-07-20T06:31:00.000-07:00

"how does each one feel? when you walk around, looking at the persona, and experience spending a day in that persona"....

I want you to be you. You are the only you there is. be definition, you are the best you there is. If you are true to yourself, if you live according to your authentic self, you will be the best you can be. You don't need to compare yourself to anyone. This isn't an excuse for not being the best. It is the faster way to get there. We aren't in competition with others because afterall, we are part of the human drama.

that is the most inspired word I ever read in my whole life. I always feel how is it like to be him or her. Acting to be someone else or even faking myself, till at the stage where I can't define who actually am I.. I am fear with myself and I guess I'm underestimate myself. I still can't find the solution. And I'm afraid..so afraid....

The Anger Bible

2010-07-11T09:22:00.000-07:00

Anger is by nature a painful state of mind. Whenever we develop anger, our inner peace immediately disappears and even our body becomes tense and uncomfortable. We are so restless that we find it nearly impossible to fall asleep, and whatever sleep we do manage to get is fitful and unrefreshing. It is impossible to enjoy ourself when we are angry, and even the food we eat seems unpalatable. Anger transforms even a normally attractive person into an ugly red-faced demon. We grow more and more miserable, and, no matter how hard we try, we cannot control our emotions.

Why??

The other main reason we become unhappy and angry is because we are faced with a situation we do not want or like. Every day we encounter hundreds of situations we do not like, from stubbing our toe or having a disagreement with our partner, to discovering that our house has burnt down or that we have cancer; and our normal reaction to all of these occurrences is to become unhappy and angry. However, try as we might, we cannot prevent unpleasant things happening to us. We cannot promise that for the rest of the day nothing bad will happen to us; we cannot even promise that we shall be alive to see the end of the day.

2010-07-07T06:49:00.000-07:00

i'm sorry for what i post. i love my friends so much. yeah we shud'nt make assumption. but its hard to forget things that hurts. im sorry... apology accepted but not forgotten..

2010-07-05T04:15:00.000-07:00

look how happy they are, girl friends or shall I say, the best friends forever...

What happen to the "best friends forever huh??"

I feel like U guys abandoned me.

I changed my no, so I thought it's okay, maybe they can't contact me.

BUT, hey U guys have facebook rite? so what's up?

It was a nice picnic birthday party though.

Hey to U, happy belated birthday.

and to the other U, thanx for not inviting me, thats harsh.

yeah who am I anyway..

Thank You so much guys.. and the cupcakes I really do it with all my heart for my very best friend..but nahh U guys wont care evryone can bake.

Cheers to you ~~best friends forever~~!

2010-07-03T10:01:00.000-07:00

dear FIFA,
I wish to create a long name for you, but I cant figure any. If I'm a billionaire that don't care to be in prison and have lots of green paper to bail me out, I wish to sue you, yes you FIFA.
My future together with my family is like "telur di hujung tanduk" check dictionary if U are so stupid to know what is that.
You, yes who else u F has caused so many irrational accusation, towards my family and my relationship. U noe what, if both of us in a court now, I know I have no chance to win because everyone seems to adore You so much. The jury even the judge, and duhh the whole world will hate me if i could sue U. and I guess alien from freaking weird universe will banned me and plan to kidnap me as well.
dear FIFA,
thank you so much for making the whole world to hate me. I solute you. and I'm not surprise, another 4 years from now, if it such an unfortunate year for me, if it's a leap year, You are the cause that going to make me single throughout my whole life..

yours truly foe,

suck balls!

2010-06-16T19:59:00.000-07:00

im the earliest that woke up today among my family. i dunnoe how the hell there's an internet connection. haram punyer kowt.....=,=
nway like usual bukak facebook, same thing and boring thing in facebook, (nway i smell ikan masin..lolwth!)

so c all those comment and i take a look at my fren punye comment, i guess he never know what's "joking" means.... and he called me this (the synonym for that word, i just purposely put it in long words) "commonly held by public belief about specific social groups or types of individual, it is coomonly mistaken with the ~~prejudice~~ word. it is based on prior assumption, and generally speaking it is not based on objective truth but rather subjective and sometimes unverifiable content-matter" sumpah maksud die panjang....

forheavensake my friend, im not that kind of person. my belief is rather objective truth because it's what the people doing now!!!! on that freaking big green field....I only see a freaking young caddies, yes the one that help the old people to hold that goddamn stick =_= (i noe u guys kinda puzzled right now, what the hell is this bitch talking about)

so, if i said that word to you, it doesnt mean im that, now back to you, u'r not what u saying at me but u'r "prejudice" take alook at dictionary and understand the meaning....

2010-06-08T00:07:00.000-07:00

every human being need time.... time eat, time to sleep and time to think. I need time either.
I need time to know myself. maybe fix myself. Im a broken radio.

I have things to say, but when I say it, people took it wrongly. I want to be rich. There's nothing wrong with it, as far as i concern. I work hard for it. I want to have my dream cars, house and what i've been dreaming on selame nie lar. I have said this to someone, he always put it in a wrong manner. i want to be rich pun with my own sweat. he thinks that I can't leave hard life and suke sangat nak buy expensive things. Then he called me expensive. It's not that. Im not a rich person. sangat tak kaya. I think he knows better =(.

he might take it offensive when I said "kalau da takde rezeki nak kaya, dapat kawen ngn org kaya pun takpe lar"....
hey, he know me well, he know that everything that i do i always work realy hard for it. it's juz like 9% probability that i can't be rich.
It's not that im such a gold digger.
after listen to what he said, im fine with it, since he has he's own plan for a brighter future, im on. I just want a good future...I know we can handle it =)

i hope u understand

2010-06-06T19:35:00.000-07:00

my mind is cluttered with thoughts and confusion...should I or should not =(

damn......

2010-06-01T22:30:00.000-07:00

I always release my anger here. like cursing here and there. it's such a therapy and you get it for free. but it is more worth if we write it for someone and they read it. so to this son of whatever....

If you know me goddamn well, stop doing things that i goddamn hate. is it stated in freaking bible that man were born stupid??????!!!!
No rite? or if it yes prove it to me it's wrong forgodsake!
How many fucking times should I say to you what I hate! Is it so fucking hard to understand. What an idiot. I speak English. Still stupid to understand?!
U ask me to not do the same mistake again. Motherfucker I stop. What the fuck are YOU doing right now??? repeating the same asshole mistake again??
Stop. I beg you to stop..

KALAU RASE BODOH BENGAP NAK MAMPUS BAGAWU AKU. SINI AKU BETUL KAN KEPALE OTAK KAU TU!!!!

it ain't earth if there's no alien

2010-05-13T03:08:00.000-07:00

i have know freaking idea there will be a sign for prostitute, what an honoured!

it's a hotel in Idaho USA, i bet this owner really into dogs =_=

this is kinda cool yet weird, Nobita punye tempat tinggal kowt??? haha it's a hotel room!

okay! who wants this kind of weird door knob?! shake hand then door open!!! wth.....

2010-05-12T01:15:00.000-07:00

BABI SIAL PANTAT PUKIMAK CIBAI SON OF A BITCH ANAK BABI ANAK ANJING TAIK KENCING SETAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DON'T TELL ME ABOUT MY ATTITUDE! SO WHAT IF IT GOING TO EAT ME BACK! LOOK AT YOURSELF BEFORE YOU WANT TO SAY ABOUT ME! YOU SON OF A FUCKING BITCH!!!

2010-05-07T05:15:00.000-07:00

things are not happen as what we expected, sometimes it surprise us. thats the irony of life. sucks right? have i talk about love? Yes millions times. I talk a lot about people that i love.
Listen to songs, that speaks from my heart, really help me to explain to the person i love, or used to love.
love come and go. sit and stand. noisy and quite. hot and cold.
no matter what, it is the only thing that can change an individual. no matter what.

when we talk about love, it story everything. i don't have to tell here since we all know what love affect one person life.

if you say that you still missing someone that is not with you anymore, would it be "sense" of love in you? Where you have someone new, but you miss your history. Is it because you have a fight with your present and wanting your history, or you really wanting your history. You think history is better than present. You think history understands you...... Instead of looking back, I know history teach you to be good to present. yes, maybe history will be the best, but, history is something bad, something that we wish we could tear off from the brain, history is a pain in your ass. History makes fire of blood, death and sadness. it's pain all the way. stop thinking about history. take care of the present. see the good things in them. cherish them. you wouldnt regret, it's a bliss..

love is unexpected.
i love my present=)

2010-05-06T01:14:00.000-07:00

before i love and ~~leave~~ you

they call me heartbreaker

i dont want to deceive you

if you fall for me

im not easy to please

i might tear you apart

told you from the start

there's no point trying to hide it

no point trying to evade it

i know i got a problem

problem with misbehaving

i know karma going to get me back

for being so cold

like a big bad wolf

im born to be bad, and bad to the bone

i told you from the start

im only going to break your heart

2010-04-21T23:57:00.000-07:00

I know it sounds a little bit corny, but we have a dream to continue our degree together because we want to go to France together! We have to complete our assigment before we graduated. Whoe we, Eim and Me =)
One of our dream would be, kiss infront of the Eiffel Tower, if we able to go to Eiffel larrr, ala any place pun takpe as long it is in France hehehehe..
Ok2 imagine romantic moment with your partner kat the most romantic place on erath!!!

2010-04-20T02:36:00.000-07:00

looking back at my old post reminds me how much I have changed. From friends to someone special, from sweetheart to sickening person.
I read about one of the post, I wrote about my dress get wet in toilet while doing my french assignment. I call Eim, (my friend) was. I said please help me, I wet my dress. He said "ok ok aku datang skarang". He came straight away. So nice of him. But then after datang mmemang lar die tolong pastu die pegi gelak kan aku. haish.
And remember tak I post about Eimran yang prasan budak Australia, suke surf padahal tak penah surf. Skarang nie die da pandai surf! sangat hot!

Anyway, I already receive my 3rd gift from Eim!!! Couple keychain. I noe sgt biase jer tapi it's cute! hehe thanx sayang.

hard life

2010-04-19T04:04:00.000-07:00

Since I was a child I don't experience of being a lavish little girl. If I want something, I have to work for it. It's the most tiring effort. Even how hard you work, u get paid less than your effort. As time pass by, my life is getting better. I finally have the chance to feel expensive cotton on my body, cool jeans where I'm no shame to show off the brand and nice bags to accesories on my hand. Yet, not what I want. Human were born to be greedy. So do I. My greedness makes me work hard, work and work until I get more. I never give up on it. I myself even wondering, when the hell will I give up.
I faced all those shits in my life. My effort is nothing. It sucks. We all know that.
We believe that one day our life will get better. Better than before and better as what we expected for. Thats what I believe. Used to. It was all crushed and break. I was believing something that only makes me fall. I prayed for my believe, I prayed a lot. But it is just a believe that turns to nightmares. Nightmare comes true.
I stop pray until last few weeks. I was so down, I can't believe that my life is not what I expected for, for the past 10 years. I start not pray to Him, I feel is like a waste if I keep praying but in the end I earn nothing except failure. I don't hate Him. He is still my dear God. The one that give me a chance to see the ugly of life. It's a challenge and I take it fairly.
There is one time, I was really in desperate time, where I need help, I want to sacred myself and put on my "telekung" and prayed to him. After the second rukuk, I stop, in the middle of prayer, I stare at my sejadah, and my heart says "what am I doing? When I need help I ask from Him, shame on you Amirah!" I feel so disgusted at myself. I am so ashame to bow to Him, I don' think I deserve His help. He would be happier to help someone that pray and do good things to Him,not me. The devil!
I stop pray to him again, because I was ashame.
I know deep inside my heart, I always thanked Him for the good things that happen in mylife, I never stop thanked to him, but I stop pray to Him. Weird though. Why? Because, I still mad at Him, why are doing this to me? I am loyal to you. I am a good person. I have too much burden to hold, and you give me more. Something that I'm unable to carry. You make me cried, and cried. Nonetheless, I grew my strenght. Yes, you make me strong to live in this cruel world, I still think it's unfair to me.
Life that is destine for me, that cruel to me, makes me being feared. Yet, I still thanked to Him.
One day, after my results announcement, I was shocked, I am one of the 7 top student out of 80 students in my course. My dream comes true. I know I can get it because I have worked for it. Again, I don't think so I can get it taking into account that I never pray to him. Once my name being announce as a Diploma holder (Very honourable pass with congratulations from the jury) first think that came out from my mouth "Syukur alhamdullilah"............
After all this while, I believe, it was You that helped me. You gave such a valuable lesson, You gave me hell and heaven. I understand, You want me to sip a little of bittersweet in life. And i betcha, there is more to go from You..
Thank You.... whatever hard life that I've been through, I want You to guide me to the correct path, I always need You indeed..
ouwh not to forget, I need my Eimran too. hehehe.. He is the love of my life =)

BODOH!

2010-04-15T23:10:00.000-07:00

tak tawu lar bodoh sangat ke or bengap sangat. da banyak kali bagi tawu still do the same thing. is it so hard to do what i ask for. kalau aku boleh dengar cakap kau, ape masalah ko pulak this time. sumpah cibai!

3 days pass...

2010-04-14T01:06:00.000-07:00

It is just 3 days pass, my last day in college. Just get my diploma! horayy!! I have 1 day holiday jerr. Then working at my new baby cafe in Wangsa Maju. My first time of doing food business. And I'm still a baby for this. Don't expect much for the cafe lar. So far so good.
I will continue my degree this July. supposedly this April, 1 week after grad. but, I need to help my sis for the cafe and waiting for my study loan. xpela lambat 2 bulan jer.
Tired giler keje. when you work and start from scratch is really tiring. seriously sangat penat. and like my lecturer said. food business is not easy! huhu memang pun. but what ever it is, this baby cafe is a stepping stone for my carrier. hehe.
and last but not least, I miss my sayang Eim, it feel weird when you're not around. and please don't say that I only love you when you're gone k. i know i suck when i'm with you. but i love sangat2 taw =(

2010-04-07T22:06:00.000-07:00

they said sometimes blogging can make you lose your friends.
what we write and what we express. what's the meaning of blog anyway? web blog. yes.
It's sort of like an open diary lar. the purpose is simple, let people know what we're thinking and purposely want people to know what we want to say.
face to face might be a proper way to do it. but, NAHH, why should i wasting my time for that. i face a lot of things, a serious thing, things that need most of my worth energy and brain. things that going to bring benefit to me.
i dont waste my time on silly things, because i don't want to look silly to a silly people.
I love you all people.
Hate me as you like, just don't bother my life and create such an unfortunate drama.
haha.
~~God bless you.~~

2010-04-06T19:50:00.001-07:00

OMG!!!! HUAHAHAHHAHAHA I DUNNOE BUT I WANT TO LAUGH!!! HAHAHHAHAHAHA... HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH...

2010-04-06T19:41:00.000-07:00

the stressful week almost ended. I have done my best. n I am so grateful that I'm doing quite well in my kitchen practical. Shockingly the same menu of the first group came out. Potato and leek soup, lamb rack and paris brest. Thanx to all chef and jury for helping and not making me so kanchiong! Masuk2 kitchen dah stress, cold and sweat my whole body. Haish nervousoverload sangat kowt. I just finish my Professional report oral with my great chef, chef Vincent. It's not what I expected, hard question and stuff. he just give realaxing question..ermm I shall say a conversation. My friend from the outside said " wahh still can laugh2 some more arrr.." hehehehe.. like i said it's a conversation and he did give me few tips.
I think im going to miss all my riends and my chefs. they are the bomb!
Taylors Hospitality School rocks!!!

2010-03-21T22:09:00.000-07:00

I almost forgot about my other baby, "Just Dessert"... Can't help it, busy with my assigmennts. All the burden almost gone. My worst nightmare, the entreprenueship project has ended with just okay. I cant really brag about it. The original slides that I made on the night before the big presentation, gone in the thin air. I have my backup file, but it's not what I want. I don't sleep finishing the bigf finale.

The next day, presentation day, doesnt goes well. The first group that was supposed to present unable to present. Crying like a liitle stupid girl. Forgodsake, you're like older than me, older than my sister but act like damn freakin child! Because of you, my group and I have to present first. You know what girl, I try not to hate you, but I feel so disgusting looking at your face.

Thank god, I'm not that stressfull anymoore after the presentation. The juries kida give us pressure. I hipe we did well. Cross finger peopple! Now I just want to concentrate on my final paper, food science, f&b and kitchen theories. My French oral, like this ednesday, scares me alot! Finally my last final kitchen practical. % juries in the kitchen and 2 juries for tasting. Okay, should I freak out now??? YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Goodluck to me ;)

good deeds

2010-02-03T02:12:00.000-08:00

when hatred surounds us, we starting to become such a devil. but after all the hatred been let go with an action, we stop. We think, "should I or should'nt I"...

Don't let the the word "hate" controls you. I control the hate. Sometimes the "hate" feel scared over me. I can be more than a living devil if I control the "hate".

Motif??
= Dont't let me hate YOU ;)

2010-01-18T22:28:00.000-08:00

This whole new campus thing really shitty! all red faces glowing. Hot with the sun shine brightly unprotected from the UV damn ray! Obviously more whitening product on the list!!! hahaha.. I smell because showered with my sweat.. Thing I should fill inj my bag :....

- towel!!! for my sweat!
-cologne or perfume to avoid unpleasent smell. duhhh!
-umbrella really need to buy a new one!! The batang payung patah alread =.=
-freaking sunblockk!!!

bye from now =)

2010-01-14T21:49:00.000-08:00

urgghhhh!!! Ahhhhhh!!! ape nie! i need a shutter in my brain cell! like NOW!!! what the heck is my damn problem sebenarnye nie. Okay, first of all, I just look out some of my friend punyer pic in facebook. Bapak hot kowt dorang2 ni sumer. so datangla sume2 setan2 dalam diri aku.
Huhu..ape nie, Capricon supposed to be confident and hot! Nie ape cite aku nie. Adoi. Haish penat lar asyik jelez2 over pretty people..

Amirah, u better listen to me, U are such an incredible girl, u're great student, smart and you have you're own beauty.. Yes2.. I am!!!!

=(

the condom slogans =_+

2010-01-14T04:34:00.000-08:00

1. if you're nude, tube your dude
2. don't be silly, protect your willie
3. wrap your tool, to catch the drool
4. cover your hose then curl her tose
5. cover your stump before you hump
6. sex is cleaner with a packaged of wiener
7. if you think its funky, cover your nonkey
8. don't make a mistake, cover your snake
9. you can't go wrong if you shield your dong
10. if you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it!

hahaha..what a good slogan huh! so safety first boys!!!

2010-01-11T22:03:00.000-08:00

"Is it good to be like anybody else?".......shut.silence.numb.struck......

He couldnt answer that little boy question.

I'm thinking, is it good? Why on earth I want to be somebody that I don't even know. I just act like them, talk like them and whatsoever.
Such a BS! I can't even find the true me. So I guess I'm going to end up nowhere. Still looking for myself. The demon from the past still haunting me again..

2010-01-10T00:59:00.000-08:00

not knowing about the world lately makes me wondering, hey what happen huh? Everyone must know the 1Malaysia thing. I just received a message from hotlink 2 days ago, saying do I know about 1Malaysia. Yes or No. I was about to replied it but heheh no credit. Alright, frankly, i don't realy get it I don't the true version of 1Malaysia. Even after all the readings and stuff I still don't get it.
But what I believe, and I figured out the 1M concept is all about unity, like the same thing we've been fighting for since ages ago. Religious wise and the race stuff. Where I grew up, I never experienced the racist environment. Lucky me. I just love to have lots of friend no matter what color they are. It's so great if you could mix around with different races because we have different thoughts and ideas. Sometimes my friend and I do share some ideas and we love to talk about our own race especially food since I'm involved in food. Apart from that, the overseas friend makes the whole idea much more bigger, in other words, more knowledge that we earn and lots of new things we get to know.
Yea yea yea..I only get the 1M concept through unity of races. Hmm.. I have to know a lot more, just need to do more reading! hehehe.
Hey, without unity, there's no fusion of food people! Baba nyonya.??? duhhh. =)

2010-01-08T05:16:00.000-08:00

do we need someone to be happy? When we got struck by sober, all we wanted is just to be happy. but is that the only solution that people have to be happy? Needing someone and all the sober dark moment is gone. Why on earth people think that. It's so pathetic to end your sober.
And why on earth, there is someone who is willing to be "someone that can make people happy". what? are they trying to be a freaking god damn angel? forgodsake. Are'nt you feel that you have just been used by someone. You are just place for them to have fun. not more than that. It's so stupid for someone who is willing to be the 4 am girl.

Pray to lord that you could grow up faster before it's too late..

cat deeley

2010-01-05T04:54:00.000-08:00

So U think U can Dance host, Cat Deely. By far, she's the most favorite host ever! She's stunning, cute and beatiful. So out going and entah la. Chomel sangat die. I have read few things about her, she's a beauty with brain. Not all girls are like that anymore. They just know how to be pretty but such a dumbass. Cat you are like my lesbo version of crush! hehehe..

good hair day bebeh!

2010-01-04T08:17:00.000-08:00

Finally, I colored my hair! It's brown copper almost the same like before lar.
I went with Fugly (Eim) and surprisingly while waiting for him, I noticed someone at my back, I turned and I get a kissed, not only that I get a red rose!!! OMFG! It's Eim..how sweet is he. Unfortunately, well everyone know how will I react on that right, so I kinda ran away

"babi pukimak ko Eim! Babi sial ko ni. Ko giler ke. ko malukan aku dowh!"

so that was my reaction la. hahahahha. Teruk kan?
I never get a flower before k! I never get a flower like forever kowt. So thank you Eim! I do appreciate it a lot. He said it was supposed to be my second present because he bought me 3 present for my birthday, he only gave me one instead of 3. The other 2 I just have to wait. Now waiting for the third present. hehehe. But don't know when.
He said he bought me 3 roses with 3 different colors and meaning. Red, ~~white~~ and ~~pink~~. He only gave me red because the other 2 wilted! Memang la. Sape suh simpan lame2 dowh! hahaha. Thanx anyway. Love U!

p/s: it's not the flower that he gave me, the real flower left in his car..hehehe

pregnancy!

2010-01-03T06:31:00.000-08:00

okay, it's freaking me out like totally!
Lately, I went to my Mak Lang house, couple of weeks ago, we're having some sort of family gathering before the engagement of my cousin. It's been a while the house was inhabit by adults, every gathering time, it's all about adulthood.
Now, we have a new family. Like 5 months ago, new cute cudly baby was born. Named Sofea. Now she's geting big, last time I saw her like Hari Raya day. She was there at Mak Lang house. She was screaming, laughing and she was like artist of the day man! Of course she get the whole attention, duhh you're like talking about a cute CUTE little human who can barely talk, and everytime they just say "adada.." everyone will like.."OMG!! she's talking!" I mean wattahell, soon or later they have to talk, and they will never stop talking and finally the parents will just wish that their children unable to speak at all after the children know to rebel and fight for their freedom. Huh.
Okay, it's not really what I want to emphasize here, my other cousin, we call her Along just delivered a cute baby boy on the 2nd of January right after my Mom's birthday. She have to get through all the shitty pain. On the day before, she's having like a pain on her back and stuff. Her thing opened about 2 cm which is not really big for the baby to come out. She was crying and crying because of the pain. The next day, "The Hallmark moment" delivering baby. She just pushed and pushed, but she was tired until the doctor have to suck up the baby using the vacuum thingy I don't know what the hell is that thing call. Ok, I'm kinda making the whole delivering baby story spooky, but yeah it is. I still remember how my cosin looks like when she got pregnant. Her feet was fat like gallons of water inside, it's like blueish color. She walk like a penguin!
Than, came the story of how my mom get through the shitty moment to delivered me. Okay at first I dont even know about it! Firts of all, I was born not in normal way "songsang position" so need to do an operation. I was born on 22nd December 1990. My mom went to toilet, natures calling and she has to answer it. She was weird, why the pee is like so fast like the Niagara falls.. she looked down, it was Niagara falls blood! Damn! Then, she went to my Granny's room " Mak nape bedarah banyak sangat ni eik?" "Darah? Har! Darah! Kejap2 aku pegi kencing kejap" (My grandma she has this kind of nervous pee disorder, when she freaks out she will pee a lot!)
Anyway get back to the story, the blood can't stop flowing, the bidan came, and we have as in they have... wait2 I was there in my mom's tummy so WE have to take a cab since there's no one driving. The taxi driver was like " Aiyo mau branak ka?" the bidan " yelar, lu cepat sikit la, ini darah sudah banyak kuar ooh itu budak nak kuar sekarang" "Apa! darah lu kata, jangan kasi itu darah kuar, nanti susah saya mau cuci ini sama kete owh.!" .."Lu cepat sikit lar!".....
Finally, we're in the hospital. So, I came out, the December little girl. I was so tiny, my dad was afraid to carry me because I'm freaking tiny. I have to be placed in the Incubator for quite a long time. hehe. My babyhood was okay, my mom told me that I love to jump here and there until my granma have to buy a huge tall kandang so that I will not going to escape. Since you're talking about the girl named Amirah, no matter how tall the kandang was, I do can escaped from it hehehe..

PEREMPUAN GILA DAN LELAKI BODOH

2009-12-30T02:10:00.000-08:00

Aku pelik kenapa perempuan mesti ada gila mereke secara tiba2, atau baran. Bila mereka baran, sumpah macam orang gila. Kadang2, ia membuatkan aku terasa gentar terhadap kaum hawa ini. Aku dah tak tahan tinggal dengan perempuan gila itu lagi. Takut2 aku pula yang menjadi gila. Fakta nye, memang aku hampir menjadi seperti perempuan gila itu.

Aku lagi heran dengan wujud nya lelaki bodoh. Yang gemar membutakan mata, memekakan telinga dan membisukan mulut. Seolah-olah tiada ape2 yang berlaku. Lelaki bodoh hanya bediri di belakang perempuan gila, memerhatikan sesuatu peperangan tanpa berbuat apa2, sedangkan, lelaki bodoh itulah yang sepatutnya meredakan sesuatu keadaan. Malang nya, semua lelaki menunjukkan kedayusan mereka terhadap perempuan2 gila. Sudah bnyak berlaku di depan mata ku.

Yea, walaupun aku ini tergolong daripada "bakal" menjadi perempuan gila, aku terasa tertekan melihat kebodohan kaum adam ini. Bukankah mereka yang sepatut nya menjadi ketua? Sekadar ketua di syarikat, sudah la! bila di rumah menjadi orang yang sungguh kerdil. Sungguh memalukan.

Aku tidak mahu menjadi perempuan gila, dan tidak mahu bersama lelaki bodoh.

2009-12-28T03:38:00.000-08:00

WHEN we talk about depressed, there's a lot to talk about. People face depression like everyday. You feel sad and can't shake it. Study shows that 1 in 8 people in their teens face this common depression thing. Not so surprise, it mostly faced by girls. Hehe, girls can be so complicated at a time.

So, I did some reading, there's one girls who turn down her friends invitation to do some shopping, she don't really have no reason not to go out lar, but she just feel like not to. Instead, she just cram herself in the room and sleep. Wait, is that me??? Infact YES! Used to be me. I love to turned down my friends invitation and everything, rather making taik mate at home. So, i used to have this depression syndrome before? Hmm maybe.

Hey, how shall we overcome this problem huh?..

Okay, first of all, Im not a damn psychiatrist, but based on my experienced, just get over it lar.

It's hard to get over something, but like people always said 'time will heal you'. Don't ever do what the picture above did. He need to see a dentist but then he cancel the appointment because he don't want to face it. It will get worsened. Seriously.

One of my friend said, "It's easy to make decision, but it's hard to face the decision you have made"

So, it's easy for you not to go for dentist, but you have to take the risk, feel the pain in your ass dear =) All this thing can lead into depression. In my opinion, depression mostly comes from the decission that we have made.

Kinda suck right?

Alhamdullilah, now, I find my own peace. I'm not running away like that guy anymore. Like this one damn stud told me, "U have made your choice, take and face the risk"... Luckily it's not the wrong choice at all!!!! muahahahahhaha..

2009-12-27T02:48:00.000-08:00

YES! i only left 1 week being a couch potato! bestnyer!

As everyone know yesterday (Saturday), there was RTW9 concert. I was there, doing my job. It's like the best job ever, approach people and U get paid. Sounds easy rite? hahah not really, it depends on the people lar. Luckily the crowd there was damn fucking sporting kowt! Just doing part time job while bosaning at home.

Honestly speaking, Eim ask me to go to that RTW because he know that I am such a "budak pemalas"hahah, he said you will see all walks of life there. Yeah, lots of thing I saw. I love observing people. Kadang2 tengok dorang punyer lifestyle can be such an entertainment for us ouwh.

Not only that, I met new people and new friends, thats what Eim wants. I don't really have friend dulu. So, he just want me to start a new life jer. And more oppurtunity comes ahead!

People! i'm about to dye my hair! And finally after almost a year I'm not using contact lense, I just bought coloured contact "ametyhst"..hehehe.

As far as i remember, last time i dye my hair when I was in term 2..since I'm having a short hair now, da hitam balik. AND!!! I want to do some piercing! actually thought of doing dekat my eyebrow, when i checked the price is like frikin expensive kowt! $115. tamoh lar. So I just get another hole at my ears kasi brutal lagi! hehehehe...

Ouwh yeah, my new friend named Fiq. Seriosly, senang nak get along ngn ko.hahaha. Sometimes biler ko cakap kan, macam Eim sikit. Hehehe. Sorry aku tak leh lepak malam ngan ko. Aku budak baik suke duk umah. hehehehe!

HO HO HO! MARY CHRISTMAS..

2009-12-24T12:32:00.000-08:00

yup happy mery christmas. its christmas, the clock ticking telling me its 4.42 am. or in french, cinq heures dix huit du matin.

okay, funny fact for today, on my birthday itself, I just sign up for facebook. And on the day itselff too, I had an offer for job this Saturday for the Rock The World 9 thingy, actually my sis yang ajak lar. Owh that want not really a 'today' nyer fact lar, the fact for today is, aku and my sis lepak dgn Eim! Huahahahahhahah. Itu kelakar. hehehe~

urgh..what should I write here eik..write about life lagi ke? adoi mesti boring giler. My life bukanye bagus sangat kowt. Ala honestly most of girls yang same age ngn aku for sure dah pernah gi clubbing and stuff. aku x penah lagi arr. Hahah. Wait, that's the only thing lar aku tak penah buat kowt. Yang lain aku dah buat aku rase. Better me and those yang tawu je la yang tawu. There's no need for me to tell anyone here.
Sometimes kan I feel, those people yang having fun or enjoying their night life tu, dorang act macam "rusa masuk kampung" eh betul ke peribahasa tu. Lantak la kan, but, maybe they all happy kowt showing all those things. Takpe, since we are the so called democratic country kan, so they can do what ever they want to do lar. heheh.

hmm, I should find a new topic lar for my blog, even I know there's no one will read my blog.hahahah..

Ok it's 5.30 am, Cinq heures et demi du matin and I still can't sleep. Should I watch porn? Nahhh, red tube laoding lame sangat lar.. hahahah.. Last time I watch porn pun kat my friend punyer handphone, porn paling hodoh sekali, those yang giler tengok porn, dorang tawu la, yang makan taik each other tur. Eeewww, taik dorang besar2 pulak. Me and my friends, let the names remain unknown heheheh tengok porn for fun and kiterang kutok2 style sex porn star. hahaha yang paling mulut bising aku arr, complain ni la tu la.. Bodoh kan kawan2 aku ni, tengok porn same2.. tapi SUMPAH RARE!!!! hehehehe

2009-12-22T05:17:00.000-08:00

SELAMAT HARI TUA AMIRAH!!!!! WELCOME TO THE 19TH CLUB =)

I'm 19 today..another year to 20 which the moment where I should get serious, more and more responsibilities coming ahead..haiyooo! tak suke nyer!

PiCtures..pIctures and more PICTURES!!!!!

-first picture of the old 19 amirah. yeah baby!-

- from left Char, at the back Eim and Me (sorry otw to Ikano D'mansara)-

-At "The Steamboat" Eim U look like want to cekik me lar-

-FOOD!! cepat lar datang. aku dah kebulur.huhuh-

-my noodle beef!-

- steam bebeh STEAMM!!!-

- go Char! (he's been force by us not to use fork n spoon, sampai tangan die cram gune chopstick.hehe)-

-the fugly and the pigle-

-the KANGKANG mousketeers (Hartamas playground before sending Eim home)-

-ehem..act 19 Amirah not 9 =.=-

_____________________________________________________________

-THE END OF BEING 9!! HEHEHEH-

Thank you guys, U guys rock my day =) (everyday)

U guys are not just my college friend, but my very damn best besties!! U guys are there when I'm sad sober or happy. I received lots of ugly feedback from people when I'm friend-ing u guys, but hey, they don't know U guys as much as I do. I don't care if people see me changing to be a bad person, but I don't think so I'm bad, U guys teach me what's real life is especially U Eim. Hey man, I know your dark history but I gotta tell you, YOU ARE NOT MUCH OF A BOY FRIENDS +_+... Kau sumpah RARE Eim!

Thanks a bunch. I love U guys a lot =)

SORRY

2009-12-21T05:34:00.000-08:00

"why the heck are U saying sorry for??"....

thats what my friend always said to me..
Im saying sorry for no reason.. huh.

It is supposed to be "the hardest word" but not to me I guess. I'm used to say sorry to this 'uncivilized' person before. That person always craving for my 'sorry'.. stupid man!

Too much things have I learn. World has teach me to be strong. I thought I am strong, but sadly I ain't strong. It is so devastating to know that U are just weak as the rest of the Eve in this whole world. My prediction on my future life has gone wrong. First of all, Im predicting that well, my life going to be just okay. No one will come to me and stab me. Nahh..never happen before. God damn! I have wound in my bloody heart! I'm hurt by someone. It feels more than being stab or cut with a sparkling sharp knife (Victorinox brand bnyk baek punye!) hehehe.. It feels more than sucks or more than the smell of your diarrhea shit!
And again, I thought I can heal this wound, till now I don't really see the changes. It's getting worst. I tried and keep on trying to patch back all this broken mirrors, there's still missing of few pieces, I cant find it.. It's gone..with the missing small tiny diomondly glasses am I going to be alright? Even I cant put them together? Hurmm.. I know deep inside my little heart says that
"U are going to be just fine"
With all the songs that link to my life, makes me feel more shitty! I hate this. Why can't I just move on.
Do you think, when we trying to move on, we are like trying to runaway from our past? Our dark secret?
Am I running away? Or am I facing it? Damn!
Regardless of the way the life treating me, I'm not going to be the left out person. I'm not going to be the backstage person. Not the nerd I use to be. Not the shy one.
Because, as far as I concern, I want people to notice me. I want to be heard. Go to hell with my damn shitty life. I don't care. U know why? This wound will heal by itself if I have completely succeed fulfill the last stage of Maslow's hierarchy- *Self Actualization* hey..just saying if I listen to your songs doesnt mean I miss you, If I think of you doesnt mean I love U.. Hey, I can stand up staright without fail if you are not beside me. Duhh..

2009-12-18T06:32:00.000-08:00

I just watch this lovely movie " City of Angels" staring Nicolas Cage my god damn hero! Okay I've watch this movie like trillionz times I guess same goes to V for Vendeta..it's totally my favorite lar.. hehehe..

How cool is that an angel falling in love with human... Arhhhh chomel nyer, but it was an ugly ending.. why you have to die Mag!!! Is like Seth being a human for nothing...

But the best dialogue I ever heard in my life, when this one angel talk to Seth " If U knew it's going to happen, will U do that (be a human)?"

Seth said " I would rather have a breath of her hair, feel the kiss of her mouth, have a touch of her hand, and have an eternity life with her"..... pergh bapak cair sial dgr!

Im such a couch potato skarang ni, holiday sucks lar...

this is my face when im bored...
and here come shasha for stealing the boredomeness lime light hehe..
so, dengan bebesar hati nye (x la besar sgt pown) I present U...Mr.Naruto..hehehehe..ouwhh sexy!

anyway, sampai skarang I cant do a great pancake! selalu tak jadi. So, I want to google up how to make a pancake batter and Tuile... hehehe..

2009-12-12T09:49:00.000-08:00

it's a sin??

i have know idea.. maybe..but with the naked eyes..yes it seems so..

it is so dangerous if im hating someone.. all the bad things that they have done, I might go for revenge..

Im talking all the bad things about someone that I hate. I know I should not do that. But, all the things that i spilled, is not a liar. It is all true. Finally, I have the guts to pull my trigger.

if i sound mean, not yet.. hey the dark secret that lies beneath the truth still safe on me. So anyone that have their dark secret with me, no worries..

Maybe I will keep continuing commit this sins until I gain my satisfaction...

God...please forgive me... it's the only way to free my soul from that dumbass...aminnn

2009-12-11T07:02:00.000-08:00

waittt!!! skunk nie bloging pown ade sistem penapis ker?? alamak! shit! urghh baru nak kutuk budak bedebah tur!

SEDIH NYER AKU!!!!

2009-12-11T06:05:00.000-08:00

halo people!!! muahahahha...

sickening holiday!!! waiting for my final term
nxt year move to the lakeside campus lor... bile bukak radio korang dengar lar iklan yang membosankan tur...

"TAYLORS UNIVERSITY COLLEGE OPEN DAY... BLABLABLA... THE NEW LAKESIDE CAMPUS....." and ntah ape ntha..

Im exited for our new campus!!!! its damn gorgeous kowt! at bundar sunway nyer area... now im having problem =(

dunnoe how tto tell my mama, that i really need to stay near my campus.. there is like no transportation to go to the new campus.. adelar transprt coz ade shuttle.. but then duhh u'r talking about TIME with the wrong people! kalau aku lambat than the shuttle bus blah abeh aku nak pegi class camne?? urgh!!!

nway.. hehehehe.. Amirah yang di sangka sangka kan baik ini telah membuat sesuatu yang jahat! amirah notty!

my dad received a warning letter from my college, Fuhh nasib baik aku dapat amek letter tu awal thanks to my baby babi punye Eimran... heheh i love to call u babi coz ko suke panggil aku babi! He also received that warning letter! muhahahah. Ok that warning letter about our absentee jer..

haish... tapi 3 kali jer tak datang... mane teruk pown... hehehehe..

manusia2 sekalian, 22 DISEMBER is the day to remember!!!! why???

Bday aku!!!! bday aku!!!!! tolong celebrate tuk aku!!!! hahahhahahhahaha

omg im so crazy lorrr... after this breaking up thingy... ouwhhh nobody can let me down!!!

To him... to whom shall it be... jap eik...

Blueeekkkkkk!!!!>

yea i noe of writing that makes me so immature..but duhhh i dun giv a fucking damn!!!!
he think he'es winning this game... woaahhh you are wrong... seriously you are messing with the wrong girl man!!!!

I am happy with my decision of not making you as my bloody future... kalau tak... sampai ke anak cucu aku mati kene dera ngan ko!

fuhh! ade gune gak eik blog ni... hehehe...

hey this is my new special friend.. ugly as you can see..but handsome in the inside....
hehehehehe.... I present you,,, Eimran...the so called pro suffer..which he never surf before apart from the polystyrene surfing board that he took from library!!! huahahahahhaha.. Ko ni kan Eim kadang2 chomel lar..

nie new pic.. kat Hartamas squre nyer area.. Amsyar you owed us k! we really find u a private place to shi sha n u can even watch ur X-Man! huh!

fuck all the love songs!!!!!

2009-11-01T18:23:00.000-08:00

Are you really here or am I dreaming

I can’t tell dreams from truth for it’s been so long since I have seen you

I can hardly remember your face anymore
When I get really lonelyand the distance causes our only silence

I think of you smilingwith pride in your eyes a lover that sighs
If you want me satisfy me,

Are you really sure that you’d believe me when others say I lie

I wonder if you could ever despise me when you know I really try to be a better one to satisfy you

For you’re everything to me and I’ll do what you ask me

if you’ll let me be, free

...bangang pukimak betul asyik dengar lagu sedih jer lately =..(

Thursday.......

2009-10-29T04:01:00.000-07:00

Thursday... what a significant day for me.. =) or shall i put it this way =(

it's the day that I wish to skip. It's scares me alot... this few weeks, all my thursday turn up to be a disaster thursday.. too many shit happen...

but today is a thursday.. I feel great coz nothing happen. everything is fine except for the last minute memo of mid term assessment and my damn headache...

hurmm i juz noticed that he juz deleted me in his fs... maybe he wants to start a new life but what about all the sweet text and talk???

Ah.. anything for him lar.. I dun care and dun giv a damn...

Still smilling =_____________+

2009-10-28T03:23:00.000-07:00

To all man....if you yhink that you are man lar..

" I am single, got no ring on this finger..I'll never let another chick bring me down in a relationship..SAVE IT BITCH!!!"

I looveee what eminem aka my idol said in his songs..bro and dudes seriously don't let a chick or a bitch let you people down lar... haiyoooo!

2009-08-23T04:00:00.000-07:00

happy ramadhan people!!!

hahahah...

it's quite sad coz tak dapat bebuka dgn family for like the whole ramadhan except on sunday. coz i have to bebuka at kitchen, the busyness of ramadhan buffet punye pasal. hmm so this is what i have to face when im taking culinary,busy all the time..

nway, omg! banyak nyer things happen during training. changes of attitude, feelings, appearance and so many things lagi lar. I do change like alot kowt!

I'm Free definitely!!!! Horayyyy! It's time for me to be "SADOR" again! I think I will get better in time lar.. alamak lagu Leona Lewis plak. Hahaha. I just want to concentrate of being myself yang dulu, as in yang like giler cold hearted, selfish and strong. Yeah bebey! You go girl!

People do watch Ghost of Girlfriends Past and The Proposal.. seriously it was a great movie!!! Love can happen anytime, anywhere and anybody....

Peace to the L.O.V.E~

2009-07-04T09:07:00.000-07:00

when we talk about self esteem and confidence, it will never be me.

Aku ni banyak sangat yang aku tak puas hati about myself. The most clear prove is, aku delete aku punye Myspace bekurun yang dulu because aku ade problem ngan self esteem.

Ever since the existance of adobe photoshop, aku terasa we are living in the very very fake, plastic life. Honestly saying, I'm neither pretty nor ugly. Senang citer muka budak mecapak kat KLCC ngan Pavi kira lagi better arr dari aku. Yang duk smoking2 kat tangga, with shorts and biji biji tak shave kaki betul2 punye legs, and thick make up on their face. Im not that type. Ok la aku ade gak arr lepak kat tangga, but no smoky smoky ok.

Alright, now we are talking about my self confidence rite, I admit, I do envy those girls, urgh...they really have a good genetic though. Why they are so perfect? The facial expression, the body shape, the everything it's like so not me.

Aku bukan nak mengada ngada lar, cakap aku nie hodoh lar, gemowk lar, tegedik gedik complain kat blog kan macam certain spoil fucking brats girls yang tawu dorang lawa pastu cakap "OMG!! Im so ugly, I got pimple on my nose!!!" Pukis kau lar, pimple pun nak bagi tawu ke, beh baik report kat CNN terus kan!

Agak tension, biler korang tengok budak camwhoring, gambar bajet macam model sume sume tu. Sometimes aku do wish to be like them lar.

Sorry to "some"of my friends yang malu nak kuar ngan aku, or rase sympathy nak kawan ngn aku. Yea yea, Im not the HOT chick! I dont walk with my shorts or my tube! I'm flat (which the fact are so not true!!!)

Whatever it is, I thanked God =). I do have flaw. I aint perfect. I'm not born to be a super model. Or a TV star. but, He created me in good condition. Like a normal person.

Yes, Im the big but, the "Penelope", and the loser, you can say anything to me.... one thing for sure... I'm not afraid of being me.....

2009-06-20T01:48:00.000-07:00

I have a friend. He did not realize that he is a Malay, but obviously he is!

need prove? alrite..

the name is like so Malay name. The skin...omg you are Malay. English??? hurmmm.. my one is better, he doesnt sound like an Australian at all OKAY!

perasan budak Australian! and the funiest thing is, he said "Aku dekat Australia nih!"

WTF! Hello I noe you bought all the Quicksilver, Reef and Billabong stuff, doesnt mean you are an Australian. Duhh!

WAKEUPLARDUDE!!!

hahahaha..padan muka ko..tension betul aku!

2009-06-19T01:03:00.000-07:00

huhuhu.. dah addicted dgn lagu secret lar pulak..

nice song =.=

now what keep on playing on my head is eminem song-we made you, 30h!3-dun trust me and the pierces-secret...

googling here and there, tengok lar youtube.com

there's a girl diploma has been denied because she do something yang tak boleh accept by the principle kowt. masa nak bow, shake hand and amek cert she blowed a kiss to her mom, on the stage lar, so the principle said it's not acceptable. like wtf! kononye tak hormat the ceremonial!

wei hello, bukanye buat dead ceremonial k. nak flying kiss kat mommy pun tak boleh ker! tak sangka orang puteh nie gak KUNO dari segi pemikiran dorang.

haha, if you guys tgk pasal tat girl, check out the comment too yeah! +_*

nway! nway! babes and dudes listen to Taylor Swift song, from CSI " You're Not Sorry"
damn cun sial! but i like the csi remix one. She acn act! hueheheheh..
im starting to like her..wekwekwek!

my playlist for this week =)
- taylor swift "you're not sorry"
- the pierces "secret"
-eminem "we made you"

.........last but not least........

happyholidaytomeyeaww!

2009-05-31T19:47:00.000-07:00

money! money! money! i should maried a multimillionaire dude!!!

It's been almost 7 days and 3 hours my purse was filled with fly..and fliesssss.........

not a singgle cent... even 1 cent... it was empty and empty... god bless me +_*'

first of june, knowing that my money in the bank has increased from 9$ to 600$ something $$$$$$ MONEY!!!!

time to cucuk duit! yeah...

woke up early in the morning, wearing blue dress, looking pretty uhukuhuk!! wtf! hahah.. semangat giler lar nak pegi college..

I walked to lrt..and wtf again, pakai lawa2 have to walk pulak. hampeh =.='

as i walk to the valley of ampang..jeng jeng... angin bertiup sangt cun lar, skirt aku pun buat la free show! pukindek!.. then walk walk walk.. wanted to withdraw 100$ for lrt monthly card... cucuk cucuk card.. suddenly " INVALID CARD, PLEASE TRY AGAIN, THANK YOU"

walawe! best giler. hello i got no money wei. not i single cent!

then, i try to search for any atm machine nearby, still... the searching turn up to be a successful FAILURE!! yeah! i was sweating like puki.

I robbed my own handbag then, search like crazy people searching for something! looking for....... 10 cents........................... (kricket sound""""")

I called my dad =(

" pa, amek kite kat lrt, xde duit, drop kat atm leh??"

" ha.. ok ok"

then few mins later, it was my brother yang datang to rescue me...

he drop me at cimb, yeah dapat money $$$$$!

than, everything goes welllllll.............................wait! until when i was in the library.......
with ma friends doing French assgments.

I went to toilet, to pee pee..
And....... my skirt was wet! and it only wet at the back! you know. at my butty butt!

I walked with grace...like nothing happen to me... so, aku di perbahan kan the whole day. "lain kali kalau nak aim, aim betul2.."

hello i dun have banana like u people lar. x payah nak aim aim..

2009-02-28T00:43:00.000-08:00

Another 1 month to go for my final Industrial Training.

It's weird, I'm starting to miss it. 2 months there have teach me a lot. So many things I saw, I did, and I experienced.

I love the people there. They are so nice to me. But... when i saw all the bad and negative thing, it makes me scared.

Actually, I can say that I'm quite tough there. Even I'm just a girl who need to take "Appeton weight Gain" I still can work well and do my best to the finishing line.

2 months there... I'm a very quite, and not really minggling around. As time passes, Im getting okay.

Im okay now=)

I hope after this industrial training, I'll discover myself. I'm not missing anymore. Finally...

2008-10-04T01:53:00.000-07:00

the 2nd moron, tagged me. actually, i don't know what's tag? so, she explain to me. and i still don't get it.

she tagged me about 15 random facts about ourselves.

alright then, 15 facts about me:

1) stubborn.
- stubborn in many ways. i don't really like listening to people. because I always think that I am right. I always think that I never do wrong. plus, I hate people ordering me what to do for my best. I want to do what ever i want to do, so, mind your own bussiness.

2) society-conscious
- I always think about what people might say about me or what. that is why, i want everything going well. and I am not a type of person that is "i don't care what people say". I do care what people say. I don't like people talk bad about me. I am a big pretender. I fake a lot, so that people won't see my flaw! I'm a self-conscious jugak lar tu.

3) miss control everything
- I love to control anything that is in my hand. Ok, I am not a psycho controller or what, is just, in circumstances, I want to take take control of things. even people. But, it's always for their own good. they are just fucking blind didn't see what am I trying to do.

4) kind
- I am a kind person. If people do good deeds to me, I will pay them more than they do to me. If you nice to me, I'll be nice to you better. I strongly believe in karma.

5) still waters run deep.
- I can be a very quite person at a time. But don't think that I am quite, u can step on my head! Sometimes I let people bullying me, but once I am done with it, it's time for you to pay all your bad debts! I will never ever let you to breathe. I can torture you as mean as I could. U will crawling down on my feet, to let me go of you. But i won't. Let me finish until I am satisfied, then I let you go, with nothing! do keep that in your mind. I won't let people go easily, if they hurt me.

6) uhh malas aku nak buat sampai 15.. 5 cukup. penat nak pikir2... no 6. I am lazy!

the rest, is for me to know, for you to find out!

2008-10-01T22:40:00.000-07:00

First of all, to all my Muslims friends out there, i would like to wish Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri. I'm sorry to all of you, for all the mistakes that i have done, to all the bad words and harsh words I said to all of you, and to all the debts that I havent paid yet, to the annoying faces that sometimes i did to irritates u guys hahah, and all stuff that i might hurt u people feelings, I am very deeply sorry.

This is the second day of Raya. I woke up at noon. My mom and the 2nd moron went to the salon, doing their hair, since they are having a bad hair day. Hahah. I was thinking to trim my hair, but then, The Oestrogen guy loves my long hair. So, keep it long lar.

Anyways, anyhow, my first Raya was...colourful, loved, borring, fulled, buncit, and hilarious! As usual, we went to my Mak Long house. She's the host for family gathering. It's a tradition. Wait before that, we've been forced by Papa, to go to my grandparents grave. (Al-Fatihah to Tok Ani and Tok Jah)

1) Graveyard story
- on the way to kubur, it was jam. As we arrived, we were looking for Tok Jah's grave first. Papa lead the way. He seems to know where is the kubur. We walked, round and round, in a hot sunny day, I was sweating, we were complaining, "mane kubur nih..". Papa said, it's a blue grave. hello! there's a lot of blue grave larrrr. Almost half an hour touring the kubur, finally.. "hah tu die! U kat sane har, depan U tur" Papa said to Mama. Then goes the reading of Al-Fatihah. After that, we walked a bit to Tok Ani's grave. Al-Fatihah goes, then we went back home, take a real shower, after we've been showering with our sweats!

2) Seek for forgiveness story
- nothing much. before heading to Mak Long's house, we took a family picture. Then, salam-salaming, start from the 2nd moron, the microbes wannabe, me the ultimate moron, "prasan hensem" guy aka gigi Rabbit, gay man, and Rihanna jr.. salaming our beloved sometimes rase nak cekik punye parents!

3) Mak Long's house.
- as we arrived, Pak Long's family were there. and we were the first family that came on Mak Long's side lar. I ate Nasi Tomato. It was ok. I ate satay, Durian cake, Mee Hoon, then some kuih-muih.. till my tummy almost blow out! gosh! I am so fucking fulled. Raya is when you have to eat loads and loads of delicacies! I'm talking to my cousins, they were interested on my course, since I am dealing with FOOD! hahak. They keep on asking me what's my specialty, hek i don't have a clue lar! Then around 4 pm, we went back to go to my granny's house.

4) Before heading to Nenek house story
- ok this is quite hillarious to me. We went back home before heading to Nenek house. Very near at Taman Tar only. We wanted to take a carrot cake that Mama ordered before. It was hell of a shit! Both of the cake dah kena makan! hahak! so we have to give the banana cake lar. Mama was so angry, bising-bising in car, ask papa to take the cake cepat-cepat. pok pek pok pek.Macam bontot ayam! Then, Papa, took the cake, lock the house, and get inside the car. He wanted to start the engine, then, he was staring at the stereng, dumbfounded, "mana kunci?". Mama was like, "ya Allah, macam mane U boleh lupe amek kunci kete!" Papa wants to take the car key back in the house, what a day, the house key is also inside the house! I was laughing in the car with the 2nd moron. it was funny. Mama went out from the car, masuk rumah and bising-bising. The microbes wannabe, gigi Rabbit and my parents, were struggling to get the car key. Luckily the sliding door is not locked, and luckily the house key is only on the coffee table near to the sliding door. They took this fishing rod, tied with mop stick and bulu ayam rotan. They make it as long as they can to reach the damn key! Fuh! they have made it! Cheers to them! Then when everyone in the car, we were laughing, it was chaos! and so drama! yet it colours our first Raya. Huh, not bad! Then of we go to Nenek House!

5) Nenek House story
- as we enter the house, lots of my chinese family was there. and aunt Pat was there too. She's suffering from breast cancer, she has short hair now, but she gained weight. Good for her. I hope she will get well soon=) Eating at Nenek house like eating in heaven! we have roasted lamb with black pepper sauce YUMMY! Spaghetti, Potato Salad, my favourite by the way! and of course, tok rendang and Lontong! ouwh yeah, i love this delicious carrot cake that aunt Fara bought! it was mouth watering! SEDAP!!! haha. biler perut dah kenyang, kite naik atas, tengok itu same tv lar!! pastu at 8 i think, we went back. Balik rumah, kire duit raya! tak banyak larr!! huhu. Then i slept around 2 watcing the big electrical box..what else TV lar! haha.

so, my Raya, maybe not as fun as the rest. It's in KL what to do! I envy those who balik kampung! huhu. I want to Raya at kampung!!! =(

-SELAMAT HARI RAYA PEOPLE!-