SORRY
>> Monday, December 21, 2009
"why the heck are U saying sorry for??"....
thats what my friend always said to me..
Im saying sorry for no reason.. huh.
It is supposed to be "the hardest word" but not to me I guess. I'm used to say sorry to this 'uncivilized' person before. That person always craving for my 'sorry'.. stupid man!
Too much things have I learn. World has teach me to be strong. I thought I am strong, but sadly I ain't strong. It is so devastating to know that U are just weak as the rest of the Eve in this whole world. My prediction on my future life has gone wrong. First of all, Im predicting that well, my life going to be just okay. No one will come to me and stab me. Nahh..never happen before. God damn! I have wound in my bloody heart! I'm hurt by someone. It feels more than being stab or cut with a sparkling sharp knife (Victorinox brand bnyk baek punye!) hehehe.. It feels more than sucks or more than the smell of your diarrhea shit!
And again, I thought I can heal this wound, till now I don't really see the changes. It's getting worst. I tried and keep on trying to patch back all this broken mirrors, there's still missing of few pieces, I cant find it.. It's gone..with the missing small tiny diomondly glasses am I going to be alright? Even I cant put them together? Hurmm.. I know deep inside my little heart says that
"U are going to be just fine"
With all the songs that link to my life, makes me feel more shitty! I hate this. Why can't I just move on.
Do you think, when we trying to move on, we are like trying to runaway from our past? Our dark secret?
Am I running away? Or am I facing it? Damn!
Regardless of the way the life treating me, I'm not going to be the left out person. I'm not going to be the backstage person. Not the nerd I use to be. Not the shy one.
Because, as far as I concern, I want people to notice me. I want to be heard. Go to hell with my damn shitty life. I don't care. U know why? This wound will heal by itself if I have completely succeed fulfill the last stage of Maslow's hierarchy- *Self Actualization* hey..just saying if I listen to your songs doesnt mean I miss you, If I think of you doesnt mean I love U.. Hey, I can stand up staright without fail if you are not beside me. Duhh..
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